Eins

For the elements, silver and iron. For the foundation, stone and the Archduke of Pacts. And for the ancestor, my great master, Schweinorg. Close the gates of the four directions. Come forth from the Crown and follow the forked road leading to the Kingdom. Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. Repeat five times. When each is filled, destroy it. Set.
Heed my words. My will creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. If you heed the Grail's call and obey my will and reason, then answer me! I hereby swear that I shall be all the good in the world. That I shall defeat all evil in the world. Thou Seventh Heaven, clad in the three great words of power, come forth from the circle of binding, Guardian of the Scales!
[This is a master (haha) post for Fate/PSLs! If you need anything specific tailored to your character (like a starter that doesn't start with the summoning like the above) let me know! We'll work something out over PM or Plurk.]

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Which means poor Elphelt won't be getting a response to those compliments any time soon.]
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Well, whatever. Better let her hus--er, Master focus on whatever she is focusing on and keep quiet. Except she is antsy and easily distracted, so within moments she wanders off to poke things around the room. ]
Oooh, these gems are pretty...
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Don't touch those!
[She worked for years to build up the mana in those gems!]
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[ She does as demanded and keeps her hands off of...everything, now. Is this how summonings are supposed to go? This is her first one. She thought there would be more pomp and circumstance and less...shame. She certainly didn't expect to be unwanted by her own Master, which cuts her deep. ]
What should I be doing, then?
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Let's just... go to the kitchen while I think.
[Anything to get her away from tools that might be precious, valuable, and necessary in the upcoming Grail War.]
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[ She scurries ahead, cutting her Master off so that she can open the door for her. She is absolutely determined to make a good impression. ]
Allow me.
[ And open it she does. The door is torn from its hinges. She just...sets it against the wall beside the doorway... ]
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Thank you, [she mutters.]
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This is not at all how she expected this to go. ]
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Would you like some tea?
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[ Holy crap, she is being spoken to. This is technically the first time so far that her Master is speaking to her for reasons unrelated to doing something wrong. ]
Oh, yes, I would. I would like that very much.
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[Earl grey pre-packaged in cheap tea bags sold in inexpensive boxes. Rin collects the tea from the cabinet. She considers using the fine china, but the destroyed door tells her she should choose otherwise.
Novelty coffee mugs it is.]
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[ After that incident, she is going to be a good Berserker and not touch or sit anywhere without being instructed. ]
Perhaps once I get myself under control, I'll make the tea for you. It really should be my responsibility.
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[As the kettle is set on the stove Rin prepares the teabags to rest in the mugs.]
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[ She will not. ]
I may be a Berserker, but my sanity is more or less intact. Or maybe my Mad Enhancement has gotten so strong that it has gotten to the point I can't tell that it's not intact? It shouldn't be quite that high. Regardless, the basic tenets of a Berserker is limited sanity--like, a skewed, inaccurate perception of reality--and difficulty with communication. But I'm clearly not grunting and shouting--that would have been so embarrassing. Can you imagine? And I'm having no problems with processing reality correctly, my love.
[ Um. ]
Anyway, I should be able to do delicate tasks if I focus.
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One scoop, or two?
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[ That was not one of the options. What did she say about Berserkers being difficult to communicate with? At least she is able to tell she is doing well at the moment. Verbal communication and reason may be troublesome with this class, but she can instinctively read her Master's emotions. No reasoning is required for that. ]
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Three scoops it is. Rin dumps the sugar into the mugs, and when the kettle begins to whistle she takes it off the heat.]
So, can you tell me your Noble Phantasm?
[Or is Rin just going to have to find out?]
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[ Rin has contracted a thirsty Berserker. Someone has to wear the metaphorical pants and it is most certainly not this hot mess. Her destiny is that of a husband now. ]
I apologize. I know there should be no secrets between the two of us, but my Noble Phantasm is...something of a sore spot. An embarrassment, to be frank. I'd rather not mention it and do all we can to avoid using it.
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[She stares at Elphelt while pouring the tea. Rin looks at her with her mouth agape and the hot water overflowing the mug.]
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[ Berserkers, regardless of their level of Mad Enhancement, are not known for planning. ]
That whole 'participate in the Holy Grail War' thing? Let's--hear me out here!--let's not. We can run away to Paris!
[ She looks genuinely proud. ]
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the
fuck]
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[ Rin has summoned the one and only pacifist Berserker to exist. ]
I certainly don't want you to risk your life. It would be best for you to not get involved.
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[She's getting at her limit. Rin slams her hand on the counter.]
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[ She jumps in her seat. Why is her Master being so mean? ]
But why would you ever want to be involved, Master?! Isn't this whole thing terrible?
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woops gave elphelt the wrong magic bitch
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