[She hates that she is so nervous. It really shouldn't be this way, but her heart is so... full. Like it might burst with the slightest provocation. Being isolated for so long really does make you sensitive to even the littlest of things—!
Tohsaka's hand twitches in his when he turns over to hold her properly. There's an urge to yank it back, but she fights that.]
If you misbehave I'll be sure to make you toe the line again. I cannot call you mine without taking responsibility.
[To know Rin was putting in the effort was enough to spare him the impulse to tease her and being too challenging wouldn't put her at ease for another date. No matter what she said, he told himself, he had to make the idea of a second date to be as appealing as possible.
What, then, was the perfect balance of the two? He thought it over, not quite realizing how his fingers curled to hold her hand a bit more possessively--it being an entirely unconscious gesture.]
I'll be mindful. [Offering a middle ground, he put on a smile and made a concerted effort to bury all his instincts that demanded he take some sort of offensive to overwhelm her. Small talk. A little bit of that could go a long way, couldn't it?] Did you go out to lunch with Sakura, by the way?
[Tohsaka actually doesn't mind banter now-and-again. Teasing might make her melt, but a little push back kept things interesting. Rin always likes to have her mind busy with something. After all, if she's busy turning something over in her mind it's less time spent overthinking her actions or her own self-consciousness.
The mention of Sakura pulls a smile from her, and he'll be able to feel as she relaxes some.]
Yes. It was a light lunch, but getting to see her happy is...
[It's everything.] Today has been a good day so far.
[He regretted it more and more that he never cared to ask her such things when he had his chances. Though he loathed the nature of heroes who entered the war in the hopes of achieving dreams they couldn't achieve in life, it was much easier to understand them in the present. That smile alone, unburdened by anything else she carried with her from day to day? He knew he couldn't replicate it for himself and that was fine--it was something she could only have with her sister.
Well. Regrets were simply a list of resolutions they couldn't fix. It was a shame that the worst of them managed to find his chance to have a wish he wasn't aware existed.]
I see. That's wonderful look on you, Rin. [Even just knowing she had her chance was well worth the cost of admission. He'd reap the benefits even if he believed he hadn't earned them.]
[His comment snaps her out of the momentary bliss.]
Eh? You mean the dress?
[Certainly she doesn't consider the face she just made. Though he'll have felt the way her hand twitched in his - almost as if preparing to yank away.]
[As it were, he had no expectation at all that he'd freak her out when he was so stubbornly trying to be as level-headed and non-combative as possible.
In a sense, returning to what he once was might have been his most dangerous move, all while he thought he'd created a safe haven for her to relax--.]
It does, but I was thinking that I don't really get to see you smile that way. There isn't a shred of conflict in it.
[At that point, he didn't know what to say. Again, she introduced him to something new, drawing up a feeling he couldn't describe and leaving him to decipher it.
It drew a smile out of him as well. That much made it easier to accept.]
Would you say she feels the same?
[It was a meaningless question--one he already knew would be a 'yes' but he couldn't help but wonder if she needed to affirm it for herself as well.]
Yes — or at least I hope so? She still wears that ribbon, even now...
[The hand covering her face shifts just a bit to pinch her cheek. Is this really happening? Is this for real? A life in which her sister can actually be her sister, and someone she can trust with her life is taking her out to dinner? Honestly it feels too good to be true. A false reality.]
[He had already worked out his excitement, shadow-boxing in the hall while she got ready, but it was still enough to stun him into a moment's silence just to hear that lilt in her voice--something that felt relieving. Satisfying.]
I would say I'm surprised she never made her own, but... hah... those good-for-nothing Matous never taught her properly. I think she'd honestly be happier not having a life involved with magecraft at all.
[And lord help the Mages Association if they ever attempted a sealing designation because that would go incredibly poorly.]
[Tohsaka lets go of her own cheek to instead curl her fingers inward toward her palm. Resting her loosely closed fist against her lips she thinks a little harder about her sister before speaking up again.]
I'm already finding the idea of leaving her behind again difficult, but it's not a path she should follow me on.
[Ah. Silently she's thankful for that. It helps to have someone else to ground her. Otherwise she'd spiral until her brain latched onto something else.]
Not much, actually.
[Especially not now that things have gotten a little wacky. Grail War over, but the Servants remain? Was this after-effects of using the Jeweled Sword? Ah... she'll probably get in trouble for it.]
[That much was a relief. Even if he hadn't told her directly, he was sure she understood the root cause of his betrayal, so the fact that they were no longer so alike as to frustrate him managed to make it all easier to accept him.
Even so, there was still the color of guilt in him. He left that girl behind as well, hadn't he?
Sighing, glanced sidelong to the window to check how far they'd gone. With Rin there beside him, maybe a small portion of that guilt would fade.]
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Tohsaka's hand twitches in his when he turns over to hold her properly. There's an urge to yank it back, but she fights that.]
If you misbehave I'll be sure to make you toe the line again. I cannot call you mine without taking responsibility.
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What, then, was the perfect balance of the two? He thought it over, not quite realizing how his fingers curled to hold her hand a bit more possessively--it being an entirely unconscious gesture.]
I'll be mindful. [Offering a middle ground, he put on a smile and made a concerted effort to bury all his instincts that demanded he take some sort of offensive to overwhelm her. Small talk. A little bit of that could go a long way, couldn't it?] Did you go out to lunch with Sakura, by the way?
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The mention of Sakura pulls a smile from her, and he'll be able to feel as she relaxes some.]
Yes. It was a light lunch, but getting to see her happy is...
[It's everything.] Today has been a good day so far.
whoops
Well. Regrets were simply a list of resolutions they couldn't fix. It was a shame that the worst of them managed to find his chance to have a wish he wasn't aware existed.]
I see. That's wonderful look on you, Rin. [Even just knowing she had her chance was well worth the cost of admission. He'd reap the benefits even if he believed he hadn't earned them.]
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Eh? You mean the dress?
[Certainly she doesn't consider the face she just made. Though he'll have felt the way her hand twitched in his - almost as if preparing to yank away.]
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In a sense, returning to what he once was might have been his most dangerous move, all while he thought he'd created a safe haven for her to relax--.]
It does, but I was thinking that I don't really get to see you smile that way. There isn't a shred of conflict in it.
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Tohsaka raises her hand to her face and tries to cover it with one hand. Her gaze falling away to the window.]
Yes, well... that's how it feels to regain something lost.
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It drew a smile out of him as well. That much made it easier to accept.]
Would you say she feels the same?
[It was a meaningless question--one he already knew would be a 'yes' but he couldn't help but wonder if she needed to affirm it for herself as well.]
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[The hand covering her face shifts just a bit to pinch her cheek. Is this really happening? Is this for real? A life in which her sister can actually be her sister, and someone she can trust with her life is taking her out to dinner? Honestly it feels too good to be true. A false reality.]
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I haven't seen her without it.
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[And lord help the Mages Association if they ever attempted a sealing designation because that would go incredibly poorly.]
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Magi were rotten in general but few made it an aspect of their crest.]
I agree. She has good spirit but becoming a full-fledged magus would offer her no improvements.
[Suffice to say, it wouldn't take much effort to convince him to put down hunters and executioners with prejudice. He was well-acquainted.]
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I'm already finding the idea of leaving her behind again difficult, but it's not a path she should follow me on.
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[Just so slightly, he squeezed her hand as if to draw her right back to where they started.]
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Not much, actually.
[Especially not now that things have gotten a little wacky. Grail War over, but the Servants remain? Was this after-effects of using the Jeweled Sword? Ah... she'll probably get in trouble for it.]
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Even so, there was still the color of guilt in him. He left that girl behind as well, hadn't he?
Sighing, glanced sidelong to the window to check how far they'd gone. With Rin there beside him, maybe a small portion of that guilt would fade.]
It's good that she can live in the present.